This journey started about seven weeks ago. It all started with a trip to a new orthopedic surgeon because I was finally fed up with living in pain. Actually I really wasn’t living I was surviving with pain. Living is what I am going to be doing after surgery. Living the life that I have been missing out on over the past few years. Doing things that I have been wanting to do but always had to make an excuse about why I couldn’t.
For those that actually know me know that this journey really did not simply start seven weeks ago. It actually started over 15 years ago when I was diagnosed with a form of Rheumatoid Arthritis. I knew this day would eventually come but really could never gauge when it would actually happen. For years I was told that I would not get knee replacements for years, mainly because of my age. I am glad that I found a doctor that understands it’s not an age thing; it’s all about quality of life.
Over the past six weeks I have furiously, well not all the time, been working on getting things situated around the house and just taking of odd and ends that I won’t be able to easily do for a few weeks post surgery. I posted earlier about my to-do list never shrinking. Luckily for me that list has finally started to get smaller and smaller and only a few things remain, mainly stuff I can’t do until one or two days before I leave for surgery.
I think the best way to describe my feelings at this moment is anxiously excited. I am anxious for the day to get here. I am excited for the possibilities that this is going mean for me. My New Lease on Life starts one week from today and that excites me more than anything.
Another way to describe me is to say that I am calm. I know that probably surprises some people. How can you be calm when you are facing major surgery where they are going to take out a part of your body, a part that you use daily, and replace it with new parts? How can you be calm when you know you have weeks and even months of physical therapy a head of you? Well, I guess that is just me. When I am facing a difficult task I usually just get it done. I don’t question things; I just bear down and make it happen.
I’m sure that over the next seven days I will have a few stress filled moments, my heart will race just thinking about what is about to happen, and I will probably lose some sleep. Heck I am willing to bet that the night before I will not sleep well but at least I will get a few hours of good sleep while they have me under performing the surgery.
All I know right now, is that the current chapter of my life that has me living in constant pain is about to end. And that excites me beyond any stress or anxiety that I may have, and that happens in one week, or seven days, or 168 however you want to look at it.